February 4th, 2011
Birth and Early Childhood
I have been a child of God since before I knew exactly what that meant. The first church I attended was a Baptist Church out of Geneva, Florida. The church bus would pick my brother and me up at our house and bring us to Church where we listened to sermons by our Pastor, Mr. Crabtree. I attended that church until I was about five years old and I can still remember sitting in church gathered with all the other children and listening so intensely to the Word of God. I believe the Lord planted a seed in me when I was a little girl. It took many years to start growing, but with a little water here and there the seed became roots and started to transform into something new. This seed has started to blossom, but it is not full grown quite yet. At His time and in His will, He calls what He has planted to take form and watching it bloom is amazing. There is no one like our God. Jeremiah 18:4, “But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.” (TNIV)
My parents divorced when I was nine years old. I understood why my mother left my father. He was physically abusive and spent most of his time enjoying the fact that he was an alcoholic. I remember the day my mother left my father; it was the perfect day with bright blue skies, dogs barking in the yard, sitting in my mother’s blue Nissan as my father begged her not to go from the car window. I was sitting in the passenger seat and unbelievably, I never shed a tear. One thing I never understood and still today highly disagree with was the fact that my mother left my brother behind. Wow, even writing that sentence today makes my eyes fill up with tears. I never saw my brother or my father again until I was twelve years old.
My mother remarried a couple years later and aside from taking her frustrations out on me I was a pretty good kid. My mother was no longer being abused; however, it seemed she had learned that hitting was the only answer to solve family problems. My stepfather never treated me like his own daughter and for the record, he did have one. I definitely feel I was disconnected – not so much from missing my father, but perhaps from losing my brother.
During middle school my family moved to West Virginia where we started attending another Baptist Church; I was about twelve years old. I developed a relationship with Christ and owned my first bible at this church (I still have it today). I was taught the significance of giving my life to Christ, accepting Him as my Savior and the reason for sacraments. In August 1993 I was baptized and saved in the Ohio River. I will never forget what that felt like as a young girl in only the seventh grade. I felt as though the Lord was resplendent from heaven and made a place for me in heaven. His presence was never so real to me before that moment. What an amazing day in my life. Afterwards, the church placed their hands on me to pray for the gift of the Holy Spirit to dwell within me.
Young Adult Years
Before high school we moved back to Florida. I had been a cheerleader most of my childhood. I was eager to become a high school cheerleader and not only did I make the team, but I also made Captain. Aside from my home life being a train wreck, my social life seemed like a home run. I was a very smart student, making straight A’s and the freshman Homecoming Queen. On paper and at a distance, my life appeared to be the perfect, perhaps envious, but only because my inner struggles were not ostensible. My young adult years were filled with learned violence and bitterness. These raw emotions overflowed into my friendships and before I knew it I was fighting in school and very curious about sex and drugs. The summer before high school was the last summer my life would be remotely normal; if such existed.
I found my high school sweetheart my freshman year. Juxtaposed, our profiles made the perfect match; however, we were both in for the ride of our lives. You can say he introduced me to sex and drugs, which thankfully, I was only a curious drug tester and never got addicted to anything I tried. The reason for my drug experimentation was simple – I was just curious. I thank God that I do not have an addictive personality. By the end of my freshmen year my home life was crashing at a dramatic pace. The conflicts with my mother became more physical and confrontational than ever before. My stepfather antagonized my mother and dared her to do most of her dirty work. You could say I held a lot of anger for them both, but then that might be an understatement.
A fist fight broke out between my mother and me as my sophomore year commenced and I was placed in a home for troubled teens. My estranged father came to my rescue for the first time in my life and I lived with him for a year until my mother tearfully requested that I come home. The year apart was good for us both because we grew from our unfortunate circumstance and found a deep appreciation for one another. We reconciled a lot of mistakes we had made individually and started to build the mother-daughter relationship we should have had all along. Today, I am thankful that she had inaugurated the propitiation of our relationship.
Even though I was trying to reconcile my life and make up for the poor decisions I had previously made I still had a few storms ahead of me. Upon arriving at the house of my high school sweetheart his father welcomed me and propositioned me with an offer I will never forget. I remember exactly what I was wearing that day. I remember exactly where everything was in the room and how dark it had suddenly become. He insisted, “If you want to continue seeing my son, you are going to have to sleep with me. Do not worry, I will pay you.” Suddenly frightened and in extreme disbelief, consequently, the answer was no. I was exasperated when he stated so securely that I was a child and he was a wealthy, powerful business man and no one would believe me if I told anyone about our conversation. I left hysterical and found my boyfriend’s best buddy at a house party. Needless to say, he laced my drink and when I woke up I was denuded at this “gentleman’s” house and it did not take me long to comprehend what had occurred. I have always been too ashamed to discuss this and therefore, I have never told a soul. However, the truth about my boyfriend’s father was reveled and no one ever accused me of falsifying truth, but acknowledged that I would gain nothing from such a lie. This was a huge burden in our relationship and we went our separate ways after high school.
I was able to find my way back into church during this time. My mother and I went on weekend retreats with the church where I truly found healing and restoration for some burdening issues. I must admit that my teenage years were spent playing on the Devil’s playground, so to speak. For some reason I completely lost myself during this period in my life. Maybe it was because my parents had divorced, possibly due to the absence of my brother and father, poor judgment in friendships, irresponsible decision making or my inconsistent relationship with Christ. It was not until I was able to drive that I began to develop a relationship with my estranged family. One thing I know for certain is that He was in the midst; God was there with me the whole time working hard on transforming the person inside of me and by the time I graduated from high school those days of partying was long gone.
I would like to say that this is where my life begins. This is where my story starts, but the truth is that God had been in my life the entire time, but this is where I found Him; this is where our intimate relationship and friendship began. This is where He called my name and I responded. When I was twenty-one years old I was a college student and I had every intention of going to school to be an Orthodontist. My life was looking quite promising. I graduated high school with honors, moved away from everything that I knew and started a new life in college a few hours away.
At this point we can agree that poor judgment was certainly the case because in my second year of college I became pregnant. Due to difficulties I had to withdraw from school and quit my job. I had no means of supporting a child especially with the inability to obtain a college degree to provide my child with a promising future. As I drove down the road one day God called out to me as I passed a church and whispered to me, “Follow me.” I just cried and knew that turning to the Father was the only way.
After a few short months of praying; a friend in Corpus Christi, Texas invited me to visit. I drove from Daytona Beach, Florida to Corpus Christi, Texas with my six month old son in March 2003. When I arrived in Texas I was stuck in traffic in downtown Houston on route to Corpus Christi and God said, “This is where you need to be because I have something here for you.” Oddly, God does speak to you in traffic. When I arrived in Corpus Christi I told my friend what had happened to me along the way so I figured if I could find a job during my two week visit that it was a sign from God (I had looked for a job in Daytona Beach and Orlando for months; nothing came about). Within the two weeks I was offered a job and followed Christ with a leap of faith that God really spoke to me in Houston and that I was meant to be in Texas.
When I arrived back in Florida my mother did not want me to move so she took my car (we were both on the title) because the girl who had no relationship with Christ is suddenly declaring that God had spoken and was leading me to Texas. I was utterly secure in this call from God. I felt so confident that I took the next flight out in the morning to Corpus Christi with two suite cases and my young son. There was however, one big problem with my move which is that I did not have a car and I was moving in with someone who did not have a child. Needless to say, the roommate situation did not work out. I was seeking God and trying to build a foundation for me and my son. I was not the free spirited girl my friend once remembered. I was, however, quite a burden since I did not have a car and I was failing financially. After about two months into my stay in Corpus Christi it was apparent that my son and I were no longer welcome. Now four states from home with only five hundred dollars in the bank; I was on the street. But God had other plans for me.
I became a member at Second Baptist Church and obediently attended every Sunday as well as bible study and tried to surround myself with God’s people. Since I had nowhere to go I found myself kneeling at the front of the church alter tossing my tears to God. A member of the church, David Eaten, approached me and I began to pour my heart out to him. He reassured me of the love of God, words of truth and the promise that whatever good work God has began in me He would carry it to completion (Philippians 1:6). When David parted from me, a young married couple, Alison and Justin Horton, who attended the same bible study class, approached me. Mr. and Mrs. Horton welcomed my son and me into their home until I could get on my feet and find my way.
My friend’s mother gifted me a vehicle, an old 1988 Mercury Cougar which assuaged many anxieties of being stranded in Texas. I remember driving down the road and I was screaming to the Lord. I started questioning my decisions and found myself hearing, “I said Houston.” I realized I had made the wrong decision. It was out of disobedience that I had gone to Corpus Christi because I did not fully trust that God was going to provide for me in Houston. I came half way and now I needed to listen to the Lord to bring me all the way to the place He intended me to be.
It is a four hour drive from Corpus Christi to Houston and my vehicle was old and needed a lot of work. An hour into the trip the car started to smoke and broke down. If you have ever driven from Corpus Christi to Houston you know that there is nothing but fields and one gas station right in the middle of the four hour drive. I began walking down the lonely highway with my son and barely began prayer before a gentleman stopped to assist me. The gentleman fixed my car and I again headed to Houston. However, the Devil kept standing in my way so I broke down once again. This time I was right in front of the store (two hours from Corpus Christ and two hours from Houston). I sat on the corner of the store and just cried and began to pray. Again, I did not say much to the Lord before he placed another one of His servants in my life. This gentleman worked on my 1988 Mercury for over an hour and subsidized the cost of the parts needed for the repairs. Believe it or not, that gentleman was on his way to Florida, what a small world. He and his wife said they would follow me and my son into Texas to make sure we made it safely to my hotel and we did. I had no doubt that the Lord was helping me get into Houston and carried me all the way there with His grace and mercy.
When morning came I began my mission to find an apartment. I had four hundred dollars in my bank account so I was truly relying on faith in God. I found an amazing one bedroom apartment asking for a deposit of two hundred dollars and free rent for two months. That gave me just enough time to find a job and get on my feet. The Lord blessed me with two very special people who without God placing them into my life I would have never made it. My neighbor, Cara Chua, who was not working at the time, watched my son for free while I interviewed and found a job. Also, I meet another new friend, Joe Ditta, who pitched in and watched my son as I tried to get on my feet. During the transition, I sold all of my designer clothes on the internet to make money and it was amazing how much money the Lord pulled in for me. I went in to interview for an Administrative Assistant Position at Reliant Stadium in Houston, but they had already filled the position. The manager, Jennifer, who had never met with me prior to this day said, “I know I already filled the open position; however for some reason I still wanted to meet with you and offer you something else I have available.” She offered me a spot as a Suite Attendant working with their clientele in the Executive Suites for the stadium. Working at the Stadium was the best job I could have taken to get on my feet. It was a lot of long hours working the events, but the money was amazing. I could not have done it without God sending me His many helpers.
I found a home church at Clear Creek Community Church (CCCC), a Non-Denominational Church with Pastor Bruce Wesley and Teaching Pastor Yancy Arrington. CCCC was a larger church, but worship was just right and sang into my soul, prayer filled with the Holy Spirit, sermons and a congregation who brought on the presence of God.
Career Years
After working at the stadium for a year I ended up getting an offer from a customer for a more promising career. This gentleman, James, set me up with several interviews within the apartment industry. I was offered every position that I interviewed for and I decided to work with Archstone. I worked both jobs for a while before giving up the job at Reliant Stadium. God had blessed me with enough savings to purchase a new car. I spent three and a half years in Houston and had saved ten thousand dollars. I developed an amazing relationship with the Lord in Houston and truly saw His hand at work in my life. It was not that the Lord Almighty had never worked in my life, but I was never sensitive to His voice enough to understand He was there waiting for me to call upon Him the whole time.
Just when I thought things were perfect, the Lord told me that I was going back to Florida. He spoke to me again and said, “I have laid out the foundation you need. In order for you to grow I have to move you.” I was not obedient at first and argued horribly. I loved my new life. I told the Lord that I would move if I could transfer because I had a good job (who am I to tell him anything, but I did) and so I told my boss if a position came available in South Florida that I would like to move back home. The next day she called me and told me there was a position available and I would be receiving a promotion as an Assistant Manager. I would be moving in two weeks. Is God amazing or what? Not only did He open up a position for me, but He also gave me a promotion. I did hunger for God’s word and I did thirst to develop a more intimate relationship with Christ. I was seeking another level of faith, a closer relationship and I was thirsty for more of His guidance.
The very first thing I did was look for a new church home. I went from church to church each Sunday morning and could not find a church with the presence of God’s Spirit for months. One Sunday, I went to Clash Christian Church in Aventura, Florida with Pastor Doug Giles. It was everything I could have hoped for and more. God fulfilled His promise and settled me right in with a new church family. I indulged myself into the Church as I did in Texas and grew just as the Lord told me I would. But if you remember, God told me I had to move back home in order to build the rest of this foundation He had planned for my life. I joined the Clash Church worship team for a brief amount of time before moving over to teach Children’s Church and Children’s Worship. Now that I was settled, God told me to go back to school for ministry. This is where the Lord led me to Dallas Baptist University. It was the end of 2006 and classes started in the fall of 2007. Within two years I was promoted to Property Manager and responsible for a forty million dollar asset.
Between that time I met a man at Clash Christian Church and six months later we got married on April 15, 2007. My son, Szaden Mykail (he was four years old) was so excited that he was going to have a dad living in the house. Jason is such an amazing man of God. When we started dating I just knew we would be warriors for the Lord together. After we married we moved in together and on our honeymoon we conceived a little boy. Benaiah Richard Potter was born on February 6, 2008. I created my own website in 2008 which provided me with an opportunity to share the Word of God. God really worked hard on me since 2003. God has burned the old; transformed me through his amazing grace and saved a sinner like me.
Present Day
I can avow that the road has been difficult and there are days where I am more obedient than others. It would be blasphemous and erroneous to declare that I am perfect as a follower of Christ. It is a gift that I am forgiven by His sacrificial blood poured out on the cross for my sins. I am saved only by His amazing grace caused by nothing I have done on my own. I could not have envisaged that God would be using me to share His inerrant Word.
Having a young son taught me the importance of autonomy and creating a life worth living. I understand having a child out of wedlock is morally polemical (just because it is common does not mean it is acceptable) and I do asseverate that it is wrong, but God worked through Szaden to speak to me so that I could hear his voice. A whisper I had ignored for years. There is sin and evil in the world, but by God’s mighty power He is able to bring good out of bad and give blessings even when we take the long road around. If we are called to be His elect He will make sure He is heard. He is omniscient and knows exactly what it will take for us to respond.
Psalm 139:13-20 (NIV)
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand when I awake, I am still with you.
My husband and I now live out in the rural of Wyoming. We love each other more today than we did the day we were married. We continue to grow strong in the promises of God. There are storms in life and we are so grateful to have God as our rock to get us through anything this life throws in our direction. My husband is in law enforcement, a dream of his since he was a child. We have been blessed with the ability for me to stay home and raise our small children. We had a little girl on November 3, 2010, MyKena Marie Potter. Both of our boys are wonderful brothers and love their new life out here. This is the life we both always wanted for our children.
I am a senior this year at Dallas Baptist University scheduled to graduate in the fall. The best day in my life was when God spoke to me and told me He had plans for my life. I had no idea the amazing journey we would take together and the incredible believers I would meet. My God saved me. He saved me through His death on the cross and He saved my soul and called me to be one of His elect. There is truly no greater gift. I have started research for graduate school. After I complete my journey at Dallas Baptist University I plan to enroll for my Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. Committing yourself to Christ is the most important decision you will ever make and choosing your spouse and maintaining the covenant of marriage is the second most important decision. I cannot express the thanks I feel for the erudition at Dallas Baptist University and the gift from the Holy Spirit.
I am honored that the Lord has given me three beautiful, healthy children. The grandeur of the Lord is breathtaking. The greatest fairytale was marrying my husband. I am so proud of the father my husband has become and will continue to be for our children. We are thankful to have been lead to one another in marriage by our benevolent God. God speaks – I have heard Him. We should all continue to be still and know that He is God, be slow to speak and a vivacious listener. So, here I am – a child of God giving my life to worship and bringing glory to His great Name. May I serve Him with joy all of my days, and teach my children His great love and faithfulness. Galatians 2:20, “And the life I now live I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me.”
